Dear Sis Dolly
I’m 24 and I am currently living with my fiancé of four years. I love him but have stronger feelings for my ex.
I've been trying to forget my ex for years but it seems impossible. My fiancé is a good, supportive man but most of the time there’s no spark. I know he loves me but the relationship is boring – there’s no romance or compliments.
I ended the relationship with my ex but I regret it – I was young and stupid and moved on too quickly. He is also a good man and wants me back.
The problem is my fiancé and I adopted a child together and I feel stuck.
My ex has a girlfriend and a child as well, but I know my ex and I won’t get over each other.
How do I make the right decision?
Sis Dolly answers
It seems like you believe you made an irrational decision by ending things with your ex. You didn’t think things through and didn’t give the relationship a chance by trying to work things out.
But before you regret the decision you made, think about why you ended the relationship in the first place. What was it that happened to make you feel you couldn’t endure life with your ex? And why was it so easy for you to move on so quickly?
When you get answers to these questions then maybe you’ll be able to make a more informed decision this time.
When you make your choice about who you want in your life, bear in mind that the people you and your ex are involved with now didn’t ask for this.
You have your fiancé, who you claim is a good man, and you both decided to include an innocent child in this equation.
Your ex has also moved on and has a baby mama with whom he’s now involved.
All four of you can take care of yourselves, but what about the two children who as a result of your actions might grow up in loveless homes or experience the hurt of being a product of a broken home?