“I see my boyfriend as a brother more than a lover” – Sis Dolly answers your questions

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Sis Dolly answers your burning questions.
Sis Dolly answers your burning questions.
Mapodile/ Getty Images

Question

 I’ve been in a relationship with a man for five years. He’s very kind and has helped me financially to finish my studies. I love him in some ways but there’s no passion in our relationship. He feels more like a brother to me than my lover.

I feel bad because he’s a good man and I know he loves me very much, but I’m considering leaving him. Sometimes I think I should stay because I’ll probably never find someone as kind as him again, but surely that’s not a good reason to stay?

READ | "My husband makes me feel worthless" - Sis Dolly answers your questions

You’re really caught between a rock and a hard place. This man has been good to you and if you leave him after all his kindness, you won’t be able to live with yourself. He’s going to feel used and taken for granted. That action might make it hard for him to trust a woman again.

But if you stay, you’ll be doing an injustice not only to him but to yourself as well. Being in a relationship that’s not fulfilling is not good for either of you. You’d both just be living life, not enjoying it. And you might even end up hating each other.

Staying with someone because you feel indebted is only postponing the inevitable. Ask yourself what you want and think about the consequences of the decision you’ll make. What does your conscience say?

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