Dear Sis Dolly
I’m 31 and I’ve been in a relationship with a 37-year-old man for six years. He has three kids with the same lady who he said he’d broken up with when we started dating.
Sometimes I get the feeling he’s sleeping with someone else – I think I’ve seen semen on the bed. He takes calls and ends them by saying, “I love you too.”
When I ask about this, he says I’m imagining things. He says there’s no relationship between him and his baby mama – only their kids.
Recently I found pictures of her on social media in Tswana traditional wedding attire. He said he’s not married and told me the ceremony was only meant for his kids.
I love him dearly – he’s intelligent, ambitious and very loving most of the time, and he’s made me realise I can be a better person. But I’m feeling overwhelmed by this suspicion I have that all is not well. Do I leave him?
Sis Dolly answers
There are a lot of things happening that you just can’t ignore – things that are flashing a red light. Talk to him about these issues in a serious manner. He shouldn’t dismiss what you’re hearing and observing as if you’re just being paranoid. You should stand your ground and insist that he gives you answers.
Six years is a long time for you not to know where you stand in a relationship. Think about everything that has happened since you’ve been with him. Ask yourself if it’s worth your time and energy to still be with this man. Or are you wasting your time?
I suggest you think hard about all this. Trust your instincts and make an informed decision about what you want for yourself. Only you can do that.