I am a 27-year-old mother of two. I have been living with my fiancé for about five years now. He has paid lobola and we did every other ceremony except the actual wedding. The problem is that since 2016 he has not talked about how we are going to move forward. There’s been no word about us getting married and recently he said I’m like a sister to him. Should I be worried? Will he ever see me as someone more than just a sister so that we can move on? ENGAGED, SMS
What you should be asking yourself is why it has taken him so long to finish off what he’s already started. It has been more than three years and there’s been no progress or talk about what is going to happen in the future. This lack of action now seems to have been followed up by words. Don’t you think these two things – his lack of action and what he said – make it clear that there is no future for the two of you? Think about what it means when he tells you are like a sister to him. Would he marry his sister and plan a future with her? Instead, this might mean that his feelings for you have changed and perhaps that is what he’s actually trying to tell you.Although this looks like the probable scenario, rather than making assumptions, you should talk to him about it. He has to be clear and explain to you what his words mean for your relationship and your future. He is the only one who will be able to respond properly to your question.