I’m 34 and I have one child who is 10 years old. I have been in a relationship with her father for 14 years. We love each other a lot but this guy has not paid lobola or shown any indication that he wants to marry me any time soon. It’s frustrating me so badly, spiritually and emotionally.
He earns a good salary, so I don’t know what the problem is.
Both our families have talked to him about this, and he just says he’ll marry me then he does nothing when it’s time to pay.
My salary is too little for me to move out and I don’t want to go back home. Our daughter has a good relationship with her father, and she cries when I say we might move out. What should I do?
Sis Dolly answers
Having a child with him and living together does not automatically mean you will get married. And you also must remember that just because you have reached a stage where you feel you are ready to settle down and be in a marriage, does not mean he is too.
He might still be contemplating this whole marriage idea and needs time to think about it thoroughly before he makes a final decision.
Since you seem to have challenges with the way the relationship is going and his lack of wanting to work towards a commitment, it is time that you talk to him about it. Have a discussion about the future and what he wants for himself.
In your conversation, include the child and yourself. His reaction will surely give you an indication of what he is thinking or planning.
If he does not seem to want you in his future, then it will be time for you to decide about your future too. It hurts to hold on to something that does not make you happy anymore.