'I've banned my in-laws from our home' – Sis Dolly answers your questions

Couple arguing (PHOTO: Getty Images)
Couple arguing (PHOTO: Getty Images)

My in laws are ruining my marriage.

Q: I’ve been married for 14 years and have three children. My wife’s family is causing problems in our marriage.

I knew she had a strong bond with her family so I let her remain close to them because I love her very much. This has been met with total disrespect towards me, and they make life changing decisions without my or the children’s consent.

After this, I banned her family from our place. When she asked why, I told her that they seem to take priority over the children and me.

And because of a life-changing decision she and the family made, she’s caused us financial ruin.

I feel I should leave her and move on, but the children are holding me back.

Our sex life has also come to a halt.

What can I do to resolve the situation?

Read more: I’m afraid my insecurities will push my partner away – what should I do?

Sis Dolly answers 

There’s an insightful saying: If you marry someone, you marry their family. But it looks like your wife’s family has taken it to the extreme, and she’s allowed them to do it.

Both of you should have set boundaries for both your families regarding their level of involvement in your life.

It’s time the two of you talk about priorities: Where you are at the moment, where you see yourselves in the future and what you have to do to achieve that.

If there’s anything left to salvage of your 14 years together, it has to be done now or else it will be too late.

If you find it difficult to talk to your wife, seek marriage counselling.

Call the Family and Marriage Society of SA (Famsa) on 011-975-7106 for a branch near you.

We live in a world where facts and fiction get blurred
In times of uncertainty you need journalism you can trust. For 14 free days, you can have access to a world of in-depth analyses, investigative journalism, top opinions and a range of features. Journalism strengthens democracy. Invest in the future today. Thereafter you will be billed R75 per month. You can cancel anytime and if you cancel within 14 days you won't be billed. 
Subscribe to News24