I’m 23 and have a four-year-old daughter. Last year I fell in love with a guy aged 36, who is a foreigner.
I love him and I’m really comfortable around him. However, he’s very jealous and doesn’t want me to get a job.
My family thinks he is over-controlling. They won’t allow me to stay home and waste the money they have spent paying for my studies.
My family believes in traditional healers so they took me to one, who said my boyfriend is using muthi to control me.
Now my family hate him and are trying to hide me from him. I told my family that it’s over between us but I got back with him when he contacted me again.
Now we’re hiding our relationship because I don’t want my parents to worry about me. I tried talking to my boyfriend about his jealousy but he has trust issues from his previous marriage.
I don’t know what to do.
I love my boyfriend and my family and they all love me.
Sis Dolly answers
Your partner and family are putting you on the spot and it’s unfair. No one should be made to choose between family and partner.
Each of them has an important role to play in your life. At the same time, your partner is being really unreasonable when he expects you to sit around and wait for him to take care of you when you are capable of doing so
Your family and partner need to find common ground so none of them end up losing you.
I suggest you call The Family Life Centre on 011-788-4784 or Famsa on 011-892- 4272 to request a family therapy session.
It would also be beneficial for you and your partner to have couple’s counselling.