No one feels totally sexy all the time, especially well into a relationship.
The realities of working, studying, cleaning and taking care of kids can get in the way. And like with any part of a relationship, once you get too comfortable, bad habits start to creep in.
Thankfully, a few quick changes can inspire you to go that extra mile.
BAD HABIT 1 Always putting on your pyjamas before you get into bed – or, worse, leaving one leg in your pyjamas while having sex. You don’t need us to tell you that isn’t sexy.
And if you get into bed fully clothed, you’re less likely to be up for getting down.
Get into bed naked. Cuddle up to your man, reach down and take hold of his penis while you go in for a kiss. Thrills like these really make a difference.
“It’s through the nerve connections between the skin and the brain that we get turned on,” says Anne Hooper, author of Ultimate Sex Positions. So if you’re resisting skin on-skin contact, you’re missing out on a lot of fun!
BAD HABIT 2 Rushing foreplay. Everyone loves an orgasm but rushing foreplay reduces your chance of climaxing.
Next time, try to not have full-on se but rather try no penetration for at least 30 minutes.
Get your partner to give you an erotic massage. “It’ll stimulate your nerve endings and your man’s senses, leaving you both feeling sexy,” says Dr LauraBerman, author of The Sex Bible.
“Focus on the genitals, breasts and bum but also the inner thighs, lower tummy and back of the neck. Try nuzzling in a spoon’s position, then get him to smooth his hands down your back and sides until he gets to your bum where he can reach through and massage in between your legs.”
Don’t forget to return the favour!
BAD HABIT 3 Not changing positions. Many of us default to the fail-safe quick climax position.
Experiment until experimenting becomes a habit. “Changing positions means you both receive the sexual stimulation you need and women are far more likely to orgasm,” says Richard Emerson, author of Explosive Sex.
Identify your fail-safe orgasm position. If you always climax on top, begin with your partner on top and then continue to mix it up with various positions until you’re ready to take control.
BAD HABIT 4 Leaving the TV on. The TV is a massive distraction that stops you getting lost in the moment. Turn it off.
Initiate sex by walking over and switching the TV off so your partner knows you mean business, or get into a position where you’re fully absorbed in them, not your favourite show.
Try this: get your man to kneel on the couch with his legs tucked under him. Climb on him and sit high on top of his thighs so you’re riding him with your legs around his waist. Hug him close so he stays deep inside you. Move in a rocking motion, using your feet on the couch for something to push against. Keep him hard by squeezing your pelvic floor muscles.
BAD HABIT 5 Moaning about the way you look. Sometime your sexual partner wouldn’t even have noticed your wobbly bottom – they're just excited to see a bum – until you pint it out. The worst thing you can do is point things out and make them an issue.
Chances are, your partner loves seeing you naked – that’s why they're always trying to get you into bed.
“Sex appeal isn’t about shape, weight, height or breast size,”Berman says. “The female body wasn’t designed with fashion in mind but to attract a mate, so men find all sorts of body shapes attractive – from soft, curved lines to lots of fleshy bits.”
Next time you want to complain, stop and instead say, “I love my bum.” The more you say it, the more you’ll believe it. And don’t be afraid to get your partner to tell you all the things they love about your body. It’ll do wonders for your self-esteem– and your sex-life!