Woman is in love with a man who earns less and her family doesn’t approve


I’m in love with a security guard who works at my complex, but I’m too embarrassed to tell him. What will my friends and family say if I start dating a security guard who earns much less than me?

I don’t know if I can love someone whom my friends and family members would think is beneath or not good enough for me. How can I decide what to do? CONFUSED


Mandisa Muruge, a counsellor at The Family Life Centre’s Lenasia South office, says: “Your family and friends can’t choose who you must fall in love with. The most amazing and beautiful thing about love is that the heart doesn’t choose the rich, the educated, the famous and so forth. The heart chooses the person it loves.

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“Don’t you think the world would be a happier place if we chose our own life partners without being pressurised by family, friends and society? If we allowed our hearts to be free to love who we want to love? Without judgment from other people? “Maybe the security guard feels the same way as you do about him. The only way to find out is to communicate with him, tell him how you really feel about him.

“Maybe he is embarrassed to approach you because he thinks you are way out of his league. He may think that your standard is way higher than his. Talk to him, maybe something good may come out of this, who knows? “If he is free to love you, your love story could lead to amazing and beautiful unconditional love. Your happiness should be your main priority.

“Your life partner should be chosen by you, not friends and family. Follow your heart and forget about other people. This is your life to live with whom and how you want to live it. “Where love is concerned, there should only be two hearts involved. Talk to that man, you don’t know what the future may hold for the two of you.

“If he isn’t free to love you, that shouldn’t embarrass you. You did what you had to do. At least you’ll know where you stand with him.”

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You must first deal with your pride and learn that every person, regardless of their economic status, have their own level of dignity. To show that you have pride, you are even battling with your own feelings. Love this man and stop seeking approval from other people.


You should follow your heart. Some of my former female colleagues who are driving top of the range vehicles have found true love at the hands of ordinary guys who don’t even have cars. So don’t deprive yourself of a chance to find true happiness.


Are you dating to please your friends and family? When you truly love someone, you will not be ashamed about where they work. So it’s either you love him for who he is or give others a chance to love him.

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