The reality of dating a married man


This is for all the women searching. It’s for the woman looking for answers to a problem that will affect so much more than she could ever realise.

I know what you’re thinking. You believe you’re not responsible for the feelings and lives of people you don’t know. You’re thinking that if it makes you happy and makes him happy, then that’s what really matters.

You don’t have to be concerned with his wife.

She’s probably not really enough for him. She doesn’t bring to the table all the things that you do. She’s simply not desirable anymore so her marriage failing won’t be because of you. If she was enough, he wouldn’t have come looking. This woman couldn’t understand what it’s like to be in your position. If she was anything like you, she would do the same.

You’re wrong

That woman who you are disregarding and devaluing is just like you. That woman is pretty, intelligent, unique, and giving all she has to the man you’re callous enough to think she isn’t worthy of.

That woman is me.

I’m 21 but I’ve been married almost 2 years. And I know about you. I know about girls my age who are single and up for any adventure in sex and love. I know that if my husband searched for an affair, he wouldn’t have to look far. And it disgusts me. The selfishness of having a relationship with a man who has a wife at home baffles me.

  Dating a married man is probably the one of the worst decisions you can make. It’s not just about being a “homewrecker". When you date a married man, everyone involved loses. The affair will only cause pain for you, him, his wife, and if applicable, his children. Everyone who knows him is going to suffer.

Before you make a huge decision to ruin several lives, you need to consider all the ramifications of an affair...

His life

Yes, this man is fully responsible for his actions. He is responsible for cheating and he is responsible for the pain it will inflict on his family. However, when a marriage is in trouble, it takes a community to support the couple. When a man goes searching for an extra-marital affair, it is in fact our duty to steer them away.

His wife

He’s going to tell you she’s awful. He’ll tell you the marriage is falling apart, that it’s beyond saving. He’ll try to make you believe that nothing you do could possibly be wrong. She deserves it, she should expect it and it’s really no big deal.

But odds are, it’s not true.

And no matter how bad things are or how she might be acting, she is his wife. You have no right to intrude on that. Marriage is complicated. It’s never easy or perfect, but it’s the couple’s responsibility to keep their vows and work through their issues.

To read the full article click here

This article was written by Gillian Watts and originally posted on

We live in a world where facts and fiction get blurred
In times of uncertainty you need journalism you can trust. For 14 free days, you can have access to a world of in-depth analyses, investigative journalism, top opinions and a range of features. Journalism strengthens democracy. Invest in the future today. Thereafter you will be billed R75 per month. You can cancel anytime and if you cancel within 14 days you won't be billed. 
Subscribe to News24