My boyfriend of six years is the father of my two children and he’s a good person. I love him a lot, but he is cheating and now he’s busy with a married woman that he works with. When I've asked him about the other women he's laughed out loud and denied it.
But with this woman he has admitted they’re having an affair, although he says they are not having sex. And he always accuses me of cheating too. He has broken my heart and I no longer trust him. Whenever he goes to work all I can think of is his affair with that woman. I love him but this pain is too much. What must I do? HURT LOVER
MOVE! EXPERT ADVICE
Mandisa Muruge, a counsellor from Family Life Centre in Lenasia South, advises: “The most important things in a relationship are love, trust, honesty, respect and faithfulness. “It seems as if all of these are lacking in your relationship. Love should not be one-sided.
You have evidence that your boyfriend is cheating on you, he has even admitted it, and this gives you a choice about how to deal with the situation. “Ask yourself if loving him is enough. Happiness should go hand in hand with love. You don’t seem to have stability in your relationship.
“Every relationship has its challenges, but we make choices about how we want to live our lives. Whether we want to be miserable for the rest of our lives or whether we want to move on and explore life from other angles if we're not happy where we are.
“The choice is yours – you have to decide what you want to do. Whatever you decide, you have to make sure your boyfriend pays maintenance for his children. “And remember, self-love, self-care and self-respect go a long way in terms of maintaining overall health.”
MOVE! READERS ADVISE
He will never change and the best thing is to leave him. All cheating men sing the same song. I feel your pain because I come from the same experience. God will heal you. God is counting your tears and maybe He has something better in store for you.
Learn to know your happiness comes first. You are not chained to this man. You will forever be miserable with a cheating partner who is always in denial and twisting the situation around in order for you to feel guilty. Walk away from this bad situation.
Since he is just a boyfriend, it's hard for me to advise you. It's a pity you have given him kids and stayed with him for six years without any serious commitment on his part. That's why he behaves in this manner. Save yourself from the heartache and move on.
You are not the only one in this. I also went through that situation until I decided to dump my girlfriend. After we broke up, the other guy also dumped her. I've found peace and happiness in my life without her. I hope you’ll make the right decision.