Actors Hungani and Stephani Ndlovu open up about losing their first child

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Stephanie Ndlovu and her husband Hungani have been candid about their miscarriage journey.
Stephanie Ndlovu and her husband Hungani have been candid about their miscarriage journey.
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It's something that most young couples look forward to - having their first child together.

And when the stick shows positive, couples start planning their baby room, they pick out possible names and some even start thinking about schools. And then the worst happens. Nothing can prepare any parent for the loss of a child, at any stage of the pregnancy.

Actors Hungani Ndlovu and his wife Stephanie have taken to their YouTube channel to share their devastating loss during their first pregnancy.

In the video, Stephanie details how excited she was to tell Hungani about their little one that was on the way. Their excitement was short-lived when, still in the first trimester, Stephanie was given a diagnosis of a blighted ovum.

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According to mayoclinic.org, a blighted ovum, also called an anembryonic pregnancy, occurs when an early embryo never develops or stops developing, is resorbed and leaves an empty gestational sac. The reason this occurs is often unknown.

Their loss happened in 2020 and they have now found the courage to talk about their journey.

Speaking to Drum, the couple says they are feeling hopeful.

“We feel optimistic that after sharing our miscarriage story, experiences such as miscarriages, infertility issues, and the likes will not be a hidden painful conversation but rather it will prompt others to share their stories, and most importantly, anyone who has experienced a miscarriage will not feel isolated or have their feelings nullified.”

Their comments section was filled with people expressing their condolences and others sharing their own personal stories of loss.

“The response has been overwhelming comforting and reassuring because we wanted to talk about this for a long time but hadn't stomached the courage for it. We have truly one of the best supportive online communities we've seen on social media.”

One of the things that made the experience even more uncomfortable was hospital staff recognizing them from TV and calling them by their TV names while Stephanie bled on a hospital bed.

“To be honest, they just need to assess the situation and exercise some common sense. If they were in the emergency room (for example), dealing with whatever accident/trauma, would they want someone taking pictures or making inappropriate comments? Probably not.”

Read more | ‘Men also feel pain’ – help is on hand for men struggling with the trauma of losing a child

They were not trying to have a baby, it was an unexpected surprise and their ordeal has made them wonder about having children in the future.

“It definitely made us question if we will be able to have children in the future, but the God we serve and love is far greater than any horrible experience. When the time is right, we will have the family we know God wants us to have.”

They have been going to therapy and Stephanie says “in therapy, a safe space is created to be vulnerable and it equips you with the right tools to deal with your emotions in a healthy way”.

“Therapy opened a comfortable language for us to use to communicate better with one another,” Hungani says.

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