‘I lost my passion for music. I stayed sad for way too long’ – Singer Zanda Zakuza on bouncing back

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Singer Zanda Zakuza says she is no longer wallowing in sadness and ready to make happy music again.
Singer Zanda Zakuza says she is no longer wallowing in sadness and ready to make happy music again.
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She is one of the leading vocalists in the country. She shot to fame after the release of the song Skeleton Move with Master KG.

Then she followed with her debut album Synthia (The Journey), which took her a few years to complete and Khaya Lam in 2020, which was a success.  

Zanda Zakuza’s brand remained consistent, so it seems. 

It was in 2021 when she received backlash from Nomcebo Zikode’s fanbase after announcing her European tour with Master KG, where she would be singing Master KG and Nomcebo’s Jerusalema. But the hate died died down and she continued making music.

The 29 years old, Afrika singer has opened up to her followers on social media about how she allowed herself to be sad for too long.

“Earlier on I had a little dabble in depression and anxiety and all of that. I am not saying all of that because I don’t recognise it or I’m downplaying it,” she says.

“I feel that I let one unfortunate incident just last forever, I chose to wallow in my sadness longer than I needed to. It was one bad moment that needed to last a short while and I dragged it for a year, disgusting behaviour on my part.”

She admits that sometimes it's hard to pull yourself outs of sadness.

“I won't even lie, the pity party that you throw yourself is comforting, you feel good, and you justify it somehow. But we forget that the world continues with or without you. And the world continues. While I was sad about something that I couldn’t even control and the world was happening to me, I wasn’t happening to the world. I drowned,” she says.

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Zanda says she realised how bad it was only last night. 

“I was in the studio at Master KGs, trying to record a song, and the cords that were playing were the type that I would insistently go and probably produce a classic. I struggled. I couldn’t connect to myself. I couldn’t recognise my voice, my train of thought, my lyricism, and I don’t know who I was at that point,” she says.

“I didn’t expect it. Call it divine intervention. I remember sitting in the darkness. I sat there sad as f*&k because I felt like I was letting myself down somehow, and it's very easy to get these feelings. Sometimes you can’t control it and that’s okay. I am not saying, don’t feel. I am saying, don’t stay there for too long,” she says.

“I sat there and thought, let me pull out some notes and write how I feel. I ended up crying. I had to sit there and apologise to myself. That just sucked. Trust me, the hardest thing to ever do is sit yourself down and tell yourself that you flopped by doing ABCD.”

She went on to say that it is okay to be sad but not for too long.

“Sadness will consume you, it's like a void that can’t get filled. You can’t fill up sadness, it keeps taking and taking. It's okay to be sad because sometimes releasing that emotion is what will help you to get up, but don’t stay there for too long. I stayed there too long. I lost who I was for the time being.”

She says people close to her saw she was not doing okay.

“They were like, my girl, you are not who you used to be. I was fortunate enough to have people and my fan base who love me through hell and high water. People who will forever choose me for me and what I do. I was fortunate because that kept me going in terms of the public eye. I am grateful that even at the moment, I had KG and Dineo (Manager) constantly routing for me. They said we need you to bounce back. You want to do it, but you don’t know where to start. That just sucked. You could see yourself drowning, but you don’t have the willpower to swim.”

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She thanks her fans for still believing in her even when she was not making hits.

“Thank you for sticking by me. I feel going forward, I am nicely finding my way back to my passion. It’s even heart-breaking to say I lost my passion for music. My love for it was out the window. You saw me recording songs, it was muscle memory. I’ve been doing it long enough for my brain to know what to do but the heart is not in it. I stayed sad for way too long,” she says.

“It affects everyone, don’t do that. You may think it’s just you in your little corner being sad but people who love you and look up to you, who are routing for you and dependent on you get affected. We’ve had a good two years of using the excuse of being sad because it’s a shit time, people are dying left right and centre, that sucked and I’m sorry for your loss, but it’s time to bounce back as an industry. I don’t want to hear anybody singing about hardship anymore. I am done, we are good. Let’s have happy thoughts.”

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