Today is International Widows Day which takes place every year on the 23rd of June. The day, which was created by the United Nations, is known as “a day of action to highlight and combat discrimination and injustice suffered by widows worldwide”. It’s a day that especially recognises widows who are ostracised by their communities following their husbands’ death.
One of Mzansi’s favourite Our Perfect Wedding (OPW) presenters, Kayise Ngqula, lost her husband on June 22, a year ago. She decided to write a love letter to him and upload the first episode on her After Dark with Kayise YouTube channel. The presenter first announced the news about her channel over a week ago with a snippet from the first episode.
In a very sombre yet strong tone she says, “And so Fari, Vodloza, this is for you. Thank you for being my heart. I love you.”
The episode speaks of their journey from the day they met to the day that he told her that he would like to lobola her. Throughout the video she also shares her grief and her healing journey. “To all widows and anyone going through grief, I hope you find healing watching this,” she captioned her first episode.
The couple first met in March 2015 when she had decided to get herself pizza and bumped into a tall, dark stranger who was looking at her. Kayise made the first move by getting back to him two weeks later with a text. “When I met him he was quite reserved, quite shy and very domesticated. As time went by I found him to be quite outgoing and loving,” she says with a smile on her face.
Kayise also speaks about Valentine’s Day of 2018, when Farai Sibanda asked for her hand in marriage by telling her that he would like to send his uncles to her home for lobola negotiations. She then speaks about the day she found out she was pregnant and the birth of her son, later on that year.
Throughout the video, the mother-of-one shows her resilience even through her tears. Halfway through the episode, she begins to tell the story of the tragic accident that took place in 2019. The car accident left both her and her late husband in critical conditions. “I was told that when he would hear my name, he would react,” Kayise says as she begins to tear up speaking about her late husband’s recovery in hospital.
“On the evening of the last visit, I saw a very different look of sadness in my father and brother-in-law’s eyes. And I know now why because they had been there all night after they had been told he was deteriorating. This was kept from me and I presume they wanted to protect me from worrying as I also needed to focus on my healing,” she recalls as she speaks of the day she will never forget.
“When we came back from the funeral is when I really felt support and backing of my family, friends and most certainly South Africa. I probably wouldn’t have made it without my family,” she says.
Watch the full first episode below: