Meet Thabo Mamase, the romantic Bolt driver whose relationship advice is making him SA’s own Agony Uncle

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Thabo Mamase is a former law enforcement officer who uses TikTok to spread the gospel of love.
Thabo Mamase is a former law enforcement officer who uses TikTok to spread the gospel of love.

You’ve seen many of his videos across different social media platforms. Some ladies are such huge fans of his dating advice, they even swoon over him, declaring their love for him on TikTok.

But the father of two says he's a focused man. Devoted to his partner and just using social media to share some of the advice his grandma used to share after he lost his job as a law enforcement officer in 2021 and became a Bolt driver.

It's a hectic lifestyle change. But it gave him time to create a new 'side hustle'.

While he’s always in his car, he thought, why not start talking about love, dispensing pearls of wisdom and preaching about how authenticity is key in relationships?

Now, at times Thabo Mamase gives men insights into how women really want to be treated. And sometimes he's preaching directly to the ladies on social media.

And he's racking up followers. At the tender age of just 32, the TikTok star who goes by the name @ndim_umtika, is already becoming Mzansi's own Agony Uncle.

It was never intentional though, he tells Drum, because all of his posts are conversational and nothing is scripted.

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“I like to talk about a lot of things and I write a lot too. Someone said I should try TikTok because a lot of things I say make sense."

"I did it without thinking I would have much of an audience. But now, four months later, I realise how people want to hear what I have to say.”

He used to work as a law enforcement officer for the City of Cape Town but, after losing his job last year, he started driving an e-hailing taxi in Gqeberha.

“Even when I was a law enforcement officer, I didn’t arrest people much, I wanted to talk things through wherever possible."

“I look back at my upbringing and I realize that even now as a grown man there are things that I still live by, from my grandmother, years after she passed away," he shares.

"She died in 2004 but her teachings are deeply intrenched inside me because at home there were open communication channels, always. I was never spanked as a child, they always spoke to me.”

In his videos he talks about the importance of communication in relationship and how the danger of leaving things unaddressed, even for the sake of peace, will always come back to haunt you.

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“I believe you do not need to have a fancy baecation with your partner before you guys can have fun," he adds.

"Create that vibe at home, have that peace where you are. I have been in a relationship, years ago, where we were away on a weekend away in the Western Cape and the issues we had not addressed at home came to bite us and it was not nice.

“I am all for doing nice things but go back to the basics. Do no sweep things under the carpet or let things slide.

"There needs to be effective communication where you listen to understand your partner, not do defend yourself. Because if you listen to defend you miss the essence of what they were saying.”

He says everyone carries their past with them but in order not to allow baggage from previous relationships to taint new relationships, you ought to be honest with yourself.

“Reflect on what caused the breakdown of the relationship and own the parts where you were at fault and move from there.”

Love alone is not enough to sustain a relationship, he adds. There needs to be time spent together, empathy, compassion and money.

He is in a relationship now, and he says his partner does watch his videos and supports him.

He hasn’t said anything that has offended her on the videos, but always makes sure to reassure her about his feelings for her.

“She loves and supports me, but it cannot be easy for her to see the messages women send me, confessing their love for me, but I always reassure her that she has Thabo all to herself, not the content creator who has circulating videos. Trust is a big thing.”

It's barely been half a year since he joined TikTok and he already has more than 100 000 followers. The father of two says he is very grateful for the reception from members of the public.

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“The feedback has been amazing, even from the critics. It has really been an overwhelming experience, sometimes I do not know how to respond when people recognize me at the shops or something. I am in awe and I am grateful. A big thank you to everyone who enjoys watching the videos and keeps coming to watch more.

He is very comfortable in his masculinity and although he used to mock male TikTokers, he is now grateful for the platform.

“I know I am the one doing all the talking but it is also healing for me. Having recently lost my job it could have been easy to slip into depression but talking about something so close to my heart helps too.

“As a man you get nothing from the false sense of masculinity society wants to box us in. We are human first before we are men and we have feelings.

"Men should be allowed to express how they feel and cry if they feel they need to. Do not let things build up because the outburst, which will eventually come, will not be pretty,” he concludes.

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