Skeem Saam actor Patrick Seleka, known for his popular role of Kat, has spoken out about verbally abusing his wife.
He recently took to Instagram Live to confess to having been abusive towards his wife Mmabaneng Seleka.
In the post, which has since been deleted, with the captions “I’m an abuser”, he spoke candidly about verbally abusing his spouse.
Patrick says his wife has been on anti-depressants due to his behaviour which started at the beginning of their marriage.
“The main reason my wife is going through her depression is because of me. I am the reason why she has been depressed for so long,” he says.
“All the things I have done since the beginning of our marriage. I wasn’t a good person. I was just bad, very very bad to her. To a point when we started, she ended up losing her job, and a lot happened,” he adds.
“I did a lot. I have been very emotionally abusive. It took me a while to see that. I have said a lot and done a lot to her. The one sad thing is I keep doing it. I am not fixing and making things work.”
Patrick was publicly apologising to his wife, her family, and close friends after realising the damage he has caused.
“I am doing this on social media because this is the one place where she is mostly attacked by the people I talk to. I am bringing it out here, not to secretly apologise but for her to see.”
He also confessed to speaking to ex-girlfriends and disrespecting his union with Mmabaneng.
“I have done a lot, talking to exes on my phone using Facebook. That has put a strain on her. I haven’t been there for her. I was just focused on work, DJing, and not being home. To a point where she took anti-depressants,” he says.
“I pushed her to take anti-depressants. I have been verbally abusive. I would come back home drunk from a gig and I would be verbally abusive to her. There are many instances when I would wake up and not remember the things I said,” he says.
But he is owning his wrongdoings and apologising.
“I am taking responsibility for it. I’m coming out to her and her family. I humbly apologise and I will do my level best to do what is right for her. It has been a long journey. I’m broken. There would be sleepless nights where she would be crying because I haven’t been there for her. Things I have done to her are destroying my wife. I humbly apologise to my wife for things that I have done.”
Patrick says he will change and is taking a step to be there for his wife. He is also calling on other abusers to change.
“I am calling out now to people who are doing it to their partners. It’s not right, it's not good, it's bad,” he says.
“I’m calling out every man who is doing this to their women. Be there for them, protect them. It becomes scary when your partner can’t talk to you and goes to social media to reach out,” he says.
It is not the first time Patrick has addressed issues affecting his marriage on social media. Last year he spoke about his wife once being ill-treated by family members after being invited to a family gathering where she suffered verbal abuse.
“So, I got an invite from one of “my so-called cousins” from my paternal family to come back spend the evening with them at some lodge in Brooklyn, with every little thing paid for. Apparently “this so-called cousin” bosses everybody around and thinks she’s the millionaire of the fam solely as a result of she inherited some few cents from her mom’s passing. Well after she had some few drinks,” he wrote.
“She began calling my cousins wife and my spouse with all types of names, taking benefit that they don’t hear nor perceive the language she was utilizing kanti (but) they understood her. My cousin's wife stood up and went to the bedroom and my spouse requested as the first makoti gore (that) what fallacious did they do to be sworn at and called all types of names so that they’ll apologise?” he wrote.
“But the cousin began shouting at her, poking her on the brow, telling her what a bunch of orphans they are, how they eat and breathe her, that time she has booked us into some low-cost soiled lodge in Brooklyn and made us eat baked bean with mayonnaise with some chilly hen. I used to be instructed they don’t seem to be the primary to obtain such therapy from her. My different cousins wives already acquired it and many of them did together with two of my uncle's wives,” Patrick wrote.
“I say, not with my wife. I’m not a vocal particular person however in-law abuse should fall. You married her for yourself not for your loved ones so it’s your job to guard her.”
When the couple celebrated their wedding anniversary, he shared a sweet message on Instagram.
"I love you, with no beginning, no end. I love you as you have become an extra necessary organ in my body. I love you as only a girl could love a boy. Without fear. Without expectations. Wanting nothing in return, except that you allow me to keep you here in my heart, that I may always know your strength, your eyes, and your spirit that gave me freedom and let me fly," Patrick wrote.
"Happy Anniversary my love. My Best Friend. My Wife. I will spend an eternity loving you, caring for you, respecting you, showing you every day that I hold you as high as the stars,” he concluded the message.