My girlfriend hasn’t had sex with me in 3 years – I’m losing my mind

(PHOTO: GETTY IMAGES/GALLO IMAGES)
(PHOTO: GETTY IMAGES/GALLO IMAGES)

Question

My girlfriend wants to marry me, and I’d like to get married too. The problem is that she won’t have sex with me. We haven’t had sex since September 2017 and I’m a total wreck.

I’m depressed and always angry because I think she’s having an affair. I think my relationship with her is only about our child.

My mind tells me to leave her and move on and find the happiness I’m longing for, but my heart reminds me how much I love her. How do I manage this? Because I’m hurting deeply.

Answer

What’s not clear here is whether this started after the birth of your child or not. Sometimes a woman does get a condition where she’s turned off intimacy due to the trauma caused by childbirth. Although this is rare, it’s not impossible If that is the case, she has to undergo counselling.

During this time, she needs your support and understanding until she heals. If the issue is not physical or is not related to childbirth, then you need to talk to her about her behavior and ask her to tell you the truth.

If this doesn’t make sense to you, just remember that there are times when one has to evaluate the relationship you are in to see if it still serves a purpose. Familiarity can make one hold on to something that is not worth it anymore, and this might just be it for your relationship. Get all the facts first and then make a decision.