“My child’s deadbeat father now wants to be in her life – should I let him?” Sis Dolly answers your questions

Sis Dolly answers a reader's questions.
Sis Dolly answers a reader's questions.
gradyreese/Getty Images


Dear Sis Dolly

I have a baby girl who has never met her father. We met when we were young and the pregnancy wasn’t planned.

He didn’t want to have a baby but I didn’t want to have an abortion. My mom helped me raise her – she’s now six – and her dad never came to see us. He’s just broken up with his girlfriend and now he’s contacted me and asked to be part of our lives again.

I’m not sure I can trust him and don’t know what to do. I know he has rights as a father but it won’t be good for my girl if he comes back for a few months then disappears again. What should I do? – CONCERNED

READ | How to co-parent a child effectively

Sis Dolly advises

You must be commended for making your decision and keeping the baby instead of doing what your baby daddy wanted.

 It’s always good to make a decision you’ll be able to live with rather than giving in to pressure. What you need to do now is think about the pain he caused you when he left you pregnant and never looked back for six years. You were a young pregnant girl on her own and you became a mother – and he was nowhere to be seen.

You managed to make things work and had the support you needed from your family while he continued with his life. Before you decide to let him back into your life, think about it thoroughly. If he hadn’t broken up with his ex, would he have come back to you? What guarantee do you have that he won’t disappear on you again?

Are you ready and willing to deal with how it will affect your child if you introduce them and he goes away again? If you both mattered to him, he would have stayed from the beginning and not just remember you when the chips are down for him. Do what’s best for you and your child.