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09 Mar 2010

2010
Please allow me to vent.

My ex-husband took my kids away in March 2009. Boy 9, girl 10 years old. It was a long fight that lasted for years and ended up in the High Court where I eventually ran out of lawyer fees and gave up. Since he took them in March last year he has blocked me off. He won''''t let me see them, he won''''t even let me talk to them on the phone - it''''s been a full year now.

I know all about my legal rights - don''''t advise me about courts, as I said we have even been to the High Court. The man is just evil.

This year I met a man that I thought was wonderful (Christian and all) and I thought 2010 would be better than 2009. I thought my luck was turning. This man knows all about what I went through last year and he was supportive at first until he dropped me like a hot potato with no explanation.

They do say what doesn''''t kill you makes you stronger - I think this one will kill me one way or the other. I am starting CBT next week - it seems too far.
Answer
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Vent away ! ( Though I am thinking of chargin twice as much for vents )
What was the actual court decision ? Was it that you did no get custody of the kids, or that you were for some reason not to even have access to the kids ? ( and it would have to be a very good reason, such as a strong likelihood that contact with you would be actively harmful for the kids )
He would have to keep to the terms of the copurt decision, and if the court did not forbid you access to them, I doubt he would be allowed to refuse you access to them. The court is supposed to think mainly of the best interests of the children, not of the wishes of the parent with the biggest or most expensive lawyers.
I know the courts can be corrupt and are often sloppy and negligent. But they do have to enforce their own decisions. Isn't there any aspect of that they decided which is useful to you and which he is ignoring ?
You can and will get stronger. Work hard in CBT, and strengthen yourself, then return to the issue of how best to solve the other problems troubling you.
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