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01 Apr 2014

Cohibitation Challenges
My partner suggested that we move in together but she is not open with her finances, everytime I touch the subject she is emotional and gets angry. Again she always expects me to agree with everything that say or suggest otherwise she gets angry for a very long time. She recently said she is having financial problems and hence the suggestion to move in together and propose that I pay her the money that money that she used to pay for our kid's nanny as she is prepared to look after the kid. What bothers me is that in her suggestion there is nowhere she telling me how is she prepared to share the household responsibilities like eletricity or rent or groceries. However in her state of financial crisis I discovered that she bought an expensive perfume and dress, I real feel like she might be tsking me for a ride given the fact that she wants to save for to resolve her financial woes but still go shopping because staying together at my place means I'm going to carry extra cost while she is saving. How do I dela with this situatiion?
Answer 425 views
Expert
CyberShrink

07 Apr 2014

Its bothersome if someone is prepared to share their life with you in other ways, but insists in remaining secretive about money matters.  Its much worse if she claims to have financial problems, and expects you essentially to pay for her while she moves in with you, but still insists her financial afairs must remain secret --- as she wants you to support her, that cant remain secret. And if she will have the time to look ater the child after moving in, but no before, why would that be ? Does she have a job he plans to give up after moving in ? And to not even discuss the issue of haring the other household living expenses is sinister, especially if he wastes money on expensive perfume and dresses she does not need.
She sounds immature, greedy and financially very risky, and like someone who intends to use and exploit you. Be wary and refuse this bad deal, and be prepared to move on.  If she has a child by you, look for ways you can pay maintenance fo the child's expenses directly ( eg directly to the school, etc ) raher than giving the mother money he can waste on herself such as more perfume.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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