Ask an expert
Question

24 May 2004

adoption<br>adoption
I've been divorced for 2yrs after being with my ex for 10yrs married for 8. We have 2 kids aged 9 and 5. our marriage was stormey and I promised myself that the next time I would work harder on a relationship. I met who I thought was a wonderful man 7 months ago. At first I didn't want to get involved but our interests and goals in life were so alike, not to mention that my kids liked him, I gave the relationship a try. I put everything in it. I fell pregnant 2 months ago and we started discussing marriage. Up to this point we hadn't had so much as a disagreement. With no logical explanation he stopped calling and visiting. I try and contact him but have difficulty doing this as well. He won't even tell me what is going on but says he loves me.
I'm now sitting with the delema. Do I give this baby up for adoption. My head says yes and that it is best for all involved, but my heart tells me that being a mother is the only part of my life where I did not fail.
I know you can't tell me what to do, but how do I make an informed and correct discission.
I'm extrely scared as the decision I will make affects so many lives.
Thx
Answer 372 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Hi Nicky,
Surely you have to at least insist that this guy sit down with you and seriously discuss the pregnancy and the decisions that have to be made about it ? Whatever emotional baggage he might be carrying, whatever else he has on his plate, he cannot ignore this and just leave it up to you while he hides from the consequences of his choices and decisions. He cannot evade this urgent discussion. He must reveal his status and intentions, as Kernel says ( Kernel's always brilliant at getting directly to the point --- suiting the nickname !) ; and he must face the fact that he is liable for your medical expenses and for maintenance of the child, and can't legally evade those responsibilities, however much he ducks and dives on the emotional issues.
Let us know in a later posting, what he says.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Yes
32% - 9474 votes
No
68% - 20305 votes
Vote