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01 Mar 2010

CS. As you can see, I am taking advantage of the fact that most people are on their way home...... My mess escalated after my husbans accused me of an affair. Not true. My reaction to the accusations was mostly to keep quiet. He would scream &  shout &  throw me out the house, pull me off the bed etc. This would sometimes carry on for two to three hours, usually between 10 &  1 in the evening (morning). After 3 years of this, he has now apologised for his " reaction"  to my wicked behaviour. ''Wicked - I would seek counsil from my friends - he sees it as a big skinner session.'' Now he expects me to just be ok with it all. I have ten foot walls around me, it wont just go away. Am i being silly? Should I forgive &  forget. It freaks me out that he was fine for so long &  then he went balistic &  now he seems fine does that work? Sexually, i dont want him to get near me, for two reasons: He refuses to use contraception &  I am not emotionally willing to let him into my space. I cannot use the pill, am considering sterilisation. Dont have a medical aid.
Answer 428 views

01 Jan 0001

Sounds like rather a severe reation even if you HAD had an affair. Of course you're not being silly. Building psychological walls around you is a common way to try to limit psychological damage in such a hostile environment, and can be difficult to unbuild without professional help. Forgive ? Maybe only in the sense of letting go of the sadness, anger, and other emotions associated with what happened, because those continue to hurt you while no longer being useful.
Not in the sense of suggesting it's fine for someone to behave as he did.
Sterilization is indeed an option, and check, it should be available at a government clinic or hopital at low cost. Even quicker and more simple would be for HIM to get sterilized, but I can huess how he might react to that suggestion !
Why does he refuse to use contraception ? is he keen to have more children ?
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