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24 Mar 2003

affairs
Hello, I am in a situation and i dont quite know how to handle it. My husband told me that he has been having an affair since last nov. They have not slept together and meet in public places. I have 2 small children and i dont want to break up the family, he admits he still has feelings for this other woman and i have told him that he has to end it now or otherwise i walk. The problem is i love him very much we have been married for 5 years. Do you think i have done the right thing. Do you think he will be able to put his strong feelings aside for this woman? what should i do and how will i know if he is telling the truth? Our marriage has gone downhill since we moved to jhb 2 years ago as we dont have any family up here and no babysitters so we dont get the quality time we need together? do you have any advice for me? What would you do in my situation?
Thank you
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear pippy,
Wouldn't it be a good idea for the two of you to get into marriage counselling ? This could provide an opportunity to get to understand each other better, and to have a good chance of working through these problems. If he has been fond of this other woman, but has limited his degree of involvement, this may indicate that he still has strong feelings for you, and that the results of such counselling might be satisfying for you both ? You'll need to be creative about finding a solution to the baby-sitting issue to enable you to both spend the time together in the marriage counseling sessions. Try FAMSA, which may help to keep the cost down, ad may een have some ideas aout the baby-sitting !
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