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01 Apr 2004

All time low
I have reached an all time low. It is sad when you realise that the only time your children speaks to you is when they want something. The only time anybody in the family contacts you is when they need advice or when somebody died. How is it possible not to concider suicide?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Cancer,
Sorry to hear you're feeling so blue. But actually it is very much possible to face such a situation without considering sicide. It sounds as if you are declaring yourself redundant, as if you decided some time ago that your own life has no meaning, purpose or value EXCEPT hrough the opinions of other people in your family. Sounds like your children might be greedy, selfish and/or thoughtless, but if they don't appreciate all that's great about you, that's their loss. Your value doesn't lie in their reactions or inactions, but in you, yourself.
People like you who are helpful often find that their own personal feelings and needs are ignored --- you may be seen as so strong and capable that people don't even pause to think that you may need and deserve some attention in your own right.
But it sounds very much as if it's high time for you to start living for yourself, attending to what you enjoy and like, and to your needs, rather than those of others. You have great value in and of yourself, not merely because a child or relative happens to think so. It mat be that you have become Depessed, which can cause one to focus increasingly fruitlessly on the negative aspects of our world, and to become less able to notice, let alone enjoy, all its good possibilities. Why not see a doctor for an assessment of this possibility, and if you are indeed Depressed, you deserve effective treatment of that disorder, so you can again find the enjoyment in life which you so much deserve.
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