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12 Jan 2006

am I just scared to be alone?
I would like to now if am scared to be alone, lack self esteem or am just being paranoid.

My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for 4 years. In all the years he has borrowed money from me and never returned it. Every year the amount goes up. When we go out we normally split the bill 60:40.The 60% being my share sometimes he just pays the tips. This man has a decent job; he buys Armani shits, ties, pants like no one I know. When he has money he thinks of his Mother, siblings then friends. When the money runs out he thinks of me!! If he buys me something over R500.00 be rest assured he will borrow a thousand in a week or so, if I say I do not have he becomes moody and just stays at home. He drinks and complains that he does not have money. In December we went away on holiday and he said he will pay for accomodation, on arrival his credit card was declined. He asked me to pay, saying he will give me the money once he sort out the problem at the bank, I still have not seen that money R8000.00. The first week after the trip he told me he is going to hassle for money. I decided to deposit R1000.00 into his account for him, as he was already on that moody tip. Is this a normal behaviour? Sometimes I feel bad not helping while he bought expensive alcohol, expensive clothes and entertained his mother and friends with his money! I am not sure if this relationship is financially healthy for me.
Answer 413 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Why on earth do you acept such emotional and financial abuse from this selfish and greedy little dandy ? Dont ever lend or give him a single cent again, and insist that he start repaying to you everything he has bothered. Are you a woman or a bank ? No, I take that back, no bank would every provide so much money with so little security. If he sulks and gets moody and stays home --- excellent ! There is nothing remotely normal about your continuing to pour money into his bottomless pockets. Why on earth do you feel you ought to help someone who obviously needs no help at all ?
Of he will only stay with you while you pay him so richly, then he isn't a boyfind, he's a prostitute
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