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20 Aug 2007

am i losing it?
i think there is somthing wrong with me,, 8 months ago my boyfren and i started dating nad thing really oof on a high note that he moved in with me 2 months later and still lives with me but the problem is when ever he says he going to sleep over at his place of which in most cases there is a valid reason i get hurt and angry and i can't even hide it, this is the cause of our fights lately and he says if i continue this way then he'll leave me cos he feels caged.. i love him and obviously do not want to lose him but what do i do? the 1st thing that comes to my mind is that when he says he spending the night at his place i think he wants to spend a night with another woman even thou he always tells me his reason for sleeping over at his place, he usually spends just one night at his place and he does do it that often ,,, in a month maybe 3 - 4x, before i met him i was with the father of my son for 6 years and he continuaslly cheated on me which he did even with my best friend until i left him last year June now question is would that be the reason for my insecurities? if so how do i overcome them.. i was thinking of breaking up with my current boyfrend and sort out this demon on my own without him in my life cos i am gonna scare teh poor guy away frm me.. he knws what happened in my previous realtionship adn i asked him to be patient with me while i deal with my fears but by the looks of things he might not hang around that long,,, i love him so much, what do i do.. pls help real fast
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Sounds like an awkward arrangement. After only knowling each other for a couple of months, he moves in with you --- but he still kept on his own place. It sounds as though you feel very lacking in self-confidence, and terribly needy, so its hardly surprising that he feels a bit trapped when you get so insecure whenever he's not actually with you. Having had a major experience of being cheated on prior to this, has sensitized you to expect cheating, and in ways which actually would increase the likelihood of this happening. YOu cannot force anyone to love you or to be faithful --- either they do or they don't Why not see a personal counsellor to sort out these issues, before making sfinal decisions on any relationships ? This guy may be geting impatient, because you are clearly NOT dealing with your fears, and probably won't succeed in dealing with them if you try to do this entirely on your own, rather than with some expert help
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