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Question

04 Jun 2004

Calls from Male friends
Hi

I love my woman, the problem is she keeps getting calls from "old friends from school" the only thing they talk about are those guys love lifes, sex lifes ,who they are shagging now, who they shagged then type of stuff. She tells me she helps them with advises and seems to be enjoying these conversations. This is despite the fact that they are aware that we are engaged. I have a problem with the whole thing.
I am i being unreasonable?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

You're not being unreasonable, but it sounds as if you place a different value and interpretation on these calls, than does your gf. Of cours she must be allowed and encouraged to have friends, but an exclusive gaggle of men friends and almost exclusively sexually-related discussions, is likely to upset most men.
Sounds like awfully boring conversations to me, but she probably really enjoys the sense that they confide in her and that she is able to be helpful in advising them. If, as is probably much more common, as Buffs says, she were calling old girl friends fro school, and chatting about THEIR sex lives, you wouldn't feel the same sense of rivalry, perhaps, but it'd be the same thing, wouldn't it ?
As BUffs says, again, you need to discuss this with her calmly, not at a time when you;re already arguing about it, and explain how uncomfortable it makes you feel, using the example that if you did something equivalent she probably wouldn't like it either, and see what sort of a joint compromise you can negotiate together.
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