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29 Apr 2003

cant take this anymore - what is going on with me?
I dont know what is worng with me - things go wrong in my life and I feel like I cant talk to anyone about this. My life has never ever been good though I tried to make it right - nothing works - I always end up making wrong and stupid decisions that get me in trouble. I did something as stupid as stealing someones cell phone just to give it back I think I did it to get attention. I really dont know why I did it. I am angry at myself because I have never done something so ugly or stupid - I got myself tangled in so many lies that it seems like I have lost all my "friends" because nobody stood up for me or bothered taking my side. I am so sad and upset all at once that I want to burst into tears. I feel like crawling into a ball and I want to die. I caused myself humiliation and embarrasment But I still dont know why I took that phone. It does not make it any better that I gave it back - What angers me the most is the fact that I am not a person that steals I am against all that so why did I do this?
Answer 396 views

01 Jan 0001

Sounds self-punishing, and more than a mere call for attention ( ever tried just asking for more attention ? ) a rather muddled attempt to shake up a situation you find uncomfortable but don't understand properly.
Isn't it best to consider this an alarm bell, and to urgently seek proper counselling, to explore all these issues, to become able to understand yourself better, and to become capable of making wiser and more fruitful decsions ?
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