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12 May 2004

caught
My husband and I has taken some nudies of us together. He kept the photos well hidden in his cupboard. Last night when we got home I found one on the coffee table in the lounge. I freeked out badly, he spanked the kids (they admitted to removing the pic) and I could not look them in the eyes. He burnt the pics and we want to know how do we handle the situation further. They are a girl of 12 and a boy of 8.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

I suppose you have two broad alternatives. One would be, as VOlcano suggests, to ignore it and hope that you and the kids will soon forget it. Maybe they will, maybe you will. But maybe neither of you will. And the kids are probably feeling as embarrassed as you are.
Personally, I think it'd be best to bite the bullet and face it. The kids, being of different ages and sex, could be reacting differently, so maybe see them separately. And just be frank, and say that you saw the picture they had left, and realize they had been exploring in the cupboard and had been looking at them. As the child what happened, and what they're feeling about it. This may need to become an opportunity for talking about sex with each child, clarifying what their thoughts and curiosities are, and answering their questions frankly, and in terms appropriate to their age.
You can tell them that sex is something that happens between adults who love each other very much, and is one of the ways they express that love ; but that it is a private thing, so you feel very embarrassed that they found these pictures and looked at them.
Let us know, in a fresh message, how those sessions go.
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