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05 May 2004

Cellphone Misery
Pls help. My boyfriend does not want me touching his fone he gets very angry about the whole thing, but i always say if u r not hiding anything y should u worry? And if he is doing things behind my back why does he keep the evidence? I am really confused here. Can i marry and be happy with this kind of behaviour. But what do i do?I know its his fone and i have mine but im very uncomfortable about the whole thing. I cant trust him.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Snowie, I hear that ou're uncomfortable about this, but this mistrust can't have been caused by him not wanting you to snoop on his phone --- why were you wanting to snoop in the first place, except that you were suspicious and untrusting ? There are other possible reasons why he may want his cellphone to be considered private.
This insecurity and insecurity in you is the real cause of the current problem, and maybe needs to be sorted out first.
Yes, if there's nothing to hide maybe he'd be wise to show you what is on his phone, but he'd probably fel this was insulting to him. And if you have a basic need to be suspicious, even after finding nothing fishy on the phone, you could decide that he has just deleted the fishy bits, and would still feel unsatisfied.
If there is to be a future in the relationship, consider relationship counselling.
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