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03 Feb 2006

Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris rents videos and never rewinds them, ever.

When Chuck Norris was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Chuck Norris".

Chuck Norris won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn't a big deal. He thinks yellow wristbands are gay.

Every day is the longest day of Chuck Norris's life. For terrorists, the shortest.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a license to kill.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once double teamed a girl.. by himself.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Chuck Norris. Sounds like a fair fight.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water and make it drink

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Chuck Norris once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.

When Chuck Norris masturbates, all women within 3 miles have orgasms.

Killing Chuck Norris doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

When Google can't find something, it asks Chuck Norris for help.

There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Chuck Norris way. It's basically the right way but faster and more deaths.

When Chuck Norris watches a pot, it boils immediately.

Chuck Norris once killed a group of Samurai Warriors with only a ball point pen. This lead to the phrase "The pen is mightier than the sword."

It would only take 1 bullet for Chuck Norris to kill 50 Cent.

. Chuck Norris can assemble the entire contents of an IKEA store without instructions or an alan key.

Scissors are scared to run with Chuck Norris.

People with amnesia still remember Chuck Norris.
Answer 463 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

And this is only funny because the real Chuck Norris is such a feeble character who makes such incredibly pathetic movies and TV programmes.
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