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20 Jun 2007

CO-DEPENDANT ON PARENTS
Hi. After going through a very hectic patch with my anxiety disorder I've become too dependant on my parents. I moved back in with them when the episodes first started and now they are such a crutch in so many ways for me. Now they want to retire and move to our holiday home, while I remain here in Jhb. How do I go about letting go? How do I face my future with anxiety without my parents? I work, I drive, I have a social life (even if its only breakfast or lunch with a friend). How do I begin letting go? I'm 35 and need to either feel less alone with this dependancy - so is there someone who is facing something similar or has overcome a similar problem - or I need to find a solution. Txs
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Expert
CyberShrink

01 Jan 0001

You don't mention having had any treatment for your anxiety disorder, and if you HAVE had treatment, it can't have been successful, or you wouldn't have the problem you're describing. So surely the first step is to find a good local shrink who can provide CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ) the treatment of choice in this sort of situation, and may also recommend some medication as well --- and get the anxiety disorder properly treated. There's no reason to assume that you face a long but unavoidably anxious life ahead. The CBT counsellor can help you tidy up the dependency issues, too, and can enable you to have a higher opinion of yourself and recognize your real capacity to cope well with life, without crutches. You challenge will be to shift from your automatic assumptions that you must be anxious and in need of crutches, to finding fulfilling ways to use your new freedom an independence.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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