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15 Sep 2006

Confidence
Dear Cybershrink

I wrote to you before about my abuse work environment. I have just been offered a job that is technically the one of my dreams. I am terrified - literally. The salary is wow for what I do, the company stable and corporate. The thing is that it involves quite a lot of figure work which is not my strong point. Everyone is telling me I can do it but I feel so anxious that I actually feel ill today. The person I report to is difficult to work with...... Just had that. Don't have too many options at this point. The handover is like a couple of days. So, I guess I take the bull by the horns and give it my best shot right? I am just so nervous - I think 2 years of being verbally abused and having my abilities attached has affected me. Having resigned worse abuse followed. Everyone says how lucky I am to be leaving the environment. I should be overjoyed but I am not and just have this heavy heart. Do you think my instincts are telling me it is the wrong job for me? My hubby says take it, give it your best shot but at the same time do not tell the agencies that you have found something. Just keep your options open. What do you think?
Regards
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

SOunds like a terrific offer. Presumably they think you fully competent to do the job. Maybe you have less confidence in yourself than do others. And once you are in the job, if it turns out that there are some numbers skills you need to develop further, they can and should provide relevant on-the-job training. But overall, I'm sure you're right, that the years of abusive scolding has damaged your sense of self-esteem and self-confidence, so that your self-doubt is probably unrealistic. You're lucky to be leaving behind such horrible management, and your confidence will pobably blom at the new place --- and maybe a spot of CBt counselling would help this process along. This is probably not a time to trust your instincts, as they have been so distorted by the abusive setting you've worked in too long. And your husband's suggestions make sense, too
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