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28 Sep 2007

CS Wife overweight
I know most of the ladies on the forum are going to attack me and tell me how selfish I am.

My wife is overweight, not a few kilos, a lot!

She was nice and athletically built when we met many years ago, if she was not, I would not have been interested enough to find out whether I like the person inside. And since the birth of our first child, MANY years ago, she just let her body go. Through the years I have mentioned it to her because it does not seem to bother her enough. She has had plenty of half hearted attempts to slim down, but they seldom work or hold for long.

I don't want someone that is unnaturally looking and skinny like a model, someone that looks like they have annorexia (spelling), but really, it does NOT look good if you fold your arms over your tummy that stands out as a bear belly of an ex rugby player, neither does it look good when you bend down, naked, and the fat roll from your stomach hangs down and I cannot see whether you are wearing a panty or not. I want to feel proud of you when I walk down the street.

And I know it's been said that you must give positive encouragement to your wife, telling her how wonderfull she looks and then she will feel good and ALSO try and live up to your expectations, but to me that is like a politician, you are lying to the person trying to win his/her vote.

So obviously I don't touch her in bed and that has cause a lot of negativity from her side.

And I know a beautiful body does not mean there is a good person inside, but I'm more than fed up with being told it is the inside that counts.

And of course, a sexy body attracts me more than ever, because of the way she looks (You've been waiting for this one, now you can really get stuck into me!)

Am I really so wrong in my expectations?

Answer 382 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

If she is as obese as you describe, her health would significantly benefit from her losing weight, so it needn't all be about YOU. But you need to encourage her to lose weight --- maybe to join a gym with you, exercise together, and both go on a healthy diet ( I notice you don't say anything about your own weight ).
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