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08 Apr 2004

Desperate for HELP..!!
I have a boyfriend and we've been going out for 6 years now. Last year I got a new job and because of my busy hours I had to move closer to work. We therefore decided to move in togeter. He is such a nice guy but really becomes aggressive and pushy when there are other people involved. He feels very much insecured in such a way that he fights with me when I talk of losing weight.He doesn't agree with any of my friends and wants just me and him and nobody else. There was a time when I decided I've had enough and wanted out, he tried to kill himself by drinking poison. As much as I was dissappointed in him we were able to solve this. However he continued with his violent behavior everytime we go out with friennds/when we have a party. I got so sick and tired and decided to leave. I was later called and told that they found him hanging in the bathroom guiser but luckly they caught him in time. I know he has had a troubledsome childhood and he is not in good terms with everyone in his family except me. He hates his father with passion as he believes that he acts the way he does because of abuse, etc. People wonder how do I cope with him. I have tried for years now and I feel drained. I'm always worried about him more than me. I haven't had time to myself but always thinking about him. I need the last resort, I love him but I don't know what to do anymore....!!! He might not be physically abusing me but he is , mentally and emotionally - I love him, but please help!!!
Answer 393 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Mwa,
This is emotional abuse, in a significant way, and emotional blackmail --- say with me and put up with my aggression, or I will kill myself so as to punish you. Can't you persuade him to seek the help he so very obviously needs, to see a shrink for counselling, to set himself ( and you ) free from his aggression ? Explain that you do love him, but that it causes you pain to see him suffering in ways that can be helped so easily.
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