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19 Apr 2004

Dessertaholic
I feel I am a dessertaholic, like a alcoholic who abstains from alcohol and then just one drink, cannot stop, thats how I am when it comes to cakes and tarts. I feel totally out of control. For example, yesterday, I had 3 pieces of malva pudding and custard, spoon of fruitsalad and pineapple mouse plus a spoon of ice cream and then about an half an hour after that, I had to huge pieces of chocolate cake and coffee. I could have carried on if it wasn't for the fact that I was full and plus there were alot of people sitting around and I started feeling self concious. Then after all that, I go and purge, I don't have to do anything to bring it on, like stick my finger down my throat, I think it's pycological, I can almost will my self to get sick. I used to be bulimic about 12 years ago, and although I am over it, there are still times when I overeat, I can will myself to bring it up. I hate this and often feel like I'm spiraling back into the past and get all guilty and hate myself for it. Fortunately this doesn't occur too often for it to be a habit, but I just don't want to go there again. Sometimes I feel like I am a pycological mess up. Do you think I need help???
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

I've heard of somebody getting his just desserts, but this is more than just deserts !
Like the alcoholic, it's not that you CANNOT stop, but that you DO NOT stop --- there is far more choice in the matter than most are prepared to admit to. And this isn't about deserts --- it is binge eating, and the purging and easy vomiting make it clear that this is an Eatng Disorder and you need to see a good psychiatrist to plan proper treatment of this. This sounds like a recurrence of your Bulimia. Of course you need help, and I'm sure you recognize that. Starting relatively early, like now, should make it easier to conquer this maladaptive habit that is developing again.
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