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Question
12 Nov 2008
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Disciplining our child
Hi there
Need some advice please. we have a 2 year old (will be 3 in Feb) who is very very busy. But we are now experiencing some discipline problems. My problem is that Dad responds by screaming/shouting at him. And I' m saying that this type of response does not work. firstly my son will think that this is the way to resolve conflict/difficult situations.Secondly I' m tired of the shouting in my house (I try not to interfere when dad' s doing the disciplining). One second everything is fine,next second a bomb has exploded. i must however add that my husband adores our baby, and always feels terribly guilty afterwards. This has been going on for a while after I' ve suggested different ways of handling situations. I' m not perfect but I do believe there is a better way. He is still a child, so he isn' t going to be perfect.
I' m thinking about seeing a specialist, but haven' t a clue of where to start.We live on the East Rand (Boksburg)
Please help
thanks
Need some advice please. we have a 2 year old (will be 3 in Feb) who is very very busy. But we are now experiencing some discipline problems. My problem is that Dad responds by screaming/shouting at him. And I' m saying that this type of response does not work. firstly my son will think that this is the way to resolve conflict/difficult situations.Secondly I' m tired of the shouting in my house (I try not to interfere when dad' s doing the disciplining). One second everything is fine,next second a bomb has exploded. i must however add that my husband adores our baby, and always feels terribly guilty afterwards. This has been going on for a while after I' ve suggested different ways of handling situations. I' m not perfect but I do believe there is a better way. He is still a child, so he isn' t going to be perfect.
I' m thinking about seeing a specialist, but haven' t a clue of where to start.We live on the East Rand (Boksburg)
Please help
thanks
CyberShrink
SOunds like you have the right idea about discipline --- shouting never did work. Work with the dad so you have a joint set of reasonable rules, and the same ideas of penalties --- and remind him, sometimes kids learn to misbehave MORE to get attention, even if its unpleasant shouting attention --- so the trick is to give rewarding attention when you catch him behaving well, and to withdraw that attention when he misbehaves. And remember at 2, he's not yet capable of a sophisticated idea of right and wrong, nor yet the distinction about what drives dad mad, and what doesn't. So don't sweat the small things, and concentrate on the bigger issues.
A child psychologist might help to convince your husband and to suggest a system you both could use
A child psychologist might help to convince your husband and to suggest a system you both could use
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