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07 Sep 2007

Do Women expect too much from Men?
Dear Cybershrink...

Ok being a man, do we expect too much?

My husband is great in so many ways, he is easy going, seldom in a bad mood, works really hard. Mostly things are great until anything gets heavy then he bolts.... As long as I dont want anything even remotely like a discussion about feelings or reassurance he is fine. Now I have seen the whole cave man thing, and I read the Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus and I get that we are different creatures with different perspectives on issues.

My husband believes firmly in "ignore the problem until it goes away... and do you want fries with that".

He works physically very hard, and he cycles four or five times a week which is great because he has the body of a twenty year old and is very sexy. Bald... but sexy.

I on the other hand work behind a desk, long hours, have a char only twice a week, and have three kids to cook, clean up after and do homework with. I seldom manage all of it. So I have the body of a thirty eight year old .... which sometimes gets me down as I know that if I just stand up for myself and get my arse in a gym and ignore the kids and the house I could do a lot to improve my self image.

What I really do enjoy though is sex. Alot. My husband is really good at it. But he is in bed by eight, as he cycles at 5. I am only just finished with cleaning up and starting to relax then, its too early for me to go to bed... besides he falls asleep infront of the tv at 7 and I chase him to bed at 8. He is either too tired, or he does not find me attractive. Obviously as a women I take it personally.

He does not want to talk about it. I want more sex. Him wanting me makes me feel loved, and it is great for stress relief, and I sleep really well afterwards, and it is about the only exercise I get.

Going to bed at 8 oclock is really weird... my teenage son thinks were both going to start using Zimmer frames soon, besides having sex then means the kids are still awake, and their not dumb enough not to know what we are doing.

We had a fight this morning and this is the reason, and I dont know how to get it through to him that if we just talk about it, and come to some kind of arrangement it would help with my frustration....
Answer 498 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Men are often bad at talking about feelings and related issues. Have you told him how desirable you find him ? And maybe suggest that if he used some of the household chores to add to his exe4rcise regime, everyone would be better of.
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