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Question

18 Sep 2006

Don't know what to do?
Hi CS

Hubby and i have been married for just over 2 years and there is a 13 year age gap between us.

Problem is he's working away alot lately an i'm not used to it, i trust him with my whole heart.
Thing is he said when he's away he feels lonely but enjoys the time away, then when he comes home he feels smothered by us.

I give him space and now says that he feels as though he doesn't belong in our house.

I give him space then complains that i'm not showing him enough affection, attention and time. So he goes off and does his own thing not includng me.

what must i do, everytime we try talk about it we end up in an arguement?

He won't come to a councellor with me and there's no point me going with him not.

We weren't having sex, but have ironed that one out and all is fine now.

Am i maybe being too demanding wanting him home with me?

We've been together for 9 years and don't want to loose him.

thank you in advance
Answer 397 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Sounds like you do love each other, but with this newer situation of his travels, you need to re-calibrate things. Its a pity he won't join you to see a counsellor, but that doesn't mean there'd be no point in seeing a personal counsellor, yourself--- you can plan with the counsellor how you yourself can work with him to get things put right. He seems to have indicated that he wants some affection, time and attention, but not too much. So you've been providing the right medicine, we just need to get the dose right
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