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17 Sep 2007

dont knwo what to do
hi, i need your advise please. my boyfriend have a baby with his ex, we splitted up about a year and a half ago and in that time the baby was concieved. at first i didn't wanted to see him, we were apart for about 2 months. we agreed to talk and see if we can sort things out.we got together again and have been since then.last week was my 21st bday and he couldnt be with me and he told me that we could celebrate the weekend, we dit nothing.... now his baby's bday is coming up,(10 Oct) and he allready said he will go to her on her bday and the weekend thereafter they are throwing a party for her, i am not invited. i help him with the baby every weekend that she is with him.sometimes it feels like i am in the way of his happiness, i am not used to have a baby the whole time with me and we have problems because of the baby, i can't accept her into my life, because i feel that she have messed up my happiness with him. maybe there are no future for us together, maybe my eyes just have to open, i am so tired of feeling i cant trust him and so tired of having to play mother for a persons child wich i hate so much(her mother).in his eyes she can't do anything wrong, its always me, when she don't have bottles, its me... what should i do. talking to him dont help, he gets mad and shout and then i just don't talk anymore because i get scared that he will hit me or something. please give me some advice. sometimes i think it will be better to just leave him, but i love him so much. please tell me what to do.

thank you,

dolla
Answer 411 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

If he had the baby during the time that the two of you had broken up, then he was not unfaithful to you. And though I can hear how the existence of the child bothers you, it's of course not the child's fault. And it's not the other woman's fault either, so there's no point or fairness in getting cross with her.
Consider seeing a relationship counsellor together to see what you can work out. Or consider moving on, and leaving him to continue a full-time relationship with the mopther of his child. Appreciate that it is a good thing about him that he wants to spend time caring for his child.
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