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30 Mar 2004

drinking
Hi. I was wondering if you could help me. My boyfriend and I have been going out for a year and 9 months, and staying together for just as long, I am ± 11 weeks pregnant. The thing that is worrying me is the fact the my boyfriend has never been a big drinker, he would drink once a month if not less and then it would be 6 beers or less the a bottle Spiced Gold. But since we found out that I am pregnant he has been drinking every weekend and it is has become so bad that he once forced me out of bed and got really violent with me and throw me on the floor, he has never done this to me and is not a violent person. Recently we went away for the weekend but on the Friday before leaving he went on a boys night out and got home totally wasted and has stopped drinking since even whilst driving to our holiday resort. He drinking routine has change from once a month to every weekend to every day, I doubt it that he will ever get violent with me again as he knows very well that he will lose me and his child and will never see us again, but what is bothering me is the fact that he has not stopped drinking, the only time that he does not drink is when he is in the bath and sleeping, it has become so bad that I don’t have food in my house. Should I speak to him and express my concerns for him or should I leave him or should I just leave him even though it would break both our hearts. What would you suggest I do? Please help
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Surely you have to speak to him about this. Sounds like he suddenly got scared and can't face the responsibilities entailed by a pregnancy, but this is really a cowards way out, and destructive to him and to you and eventually the child. As Casey says, talk it over when he is sober, ( if you can catch him sober !).
If he can't talk it over pleaqsantly, and can't admit that he is suddenly drinking destructively, consider leaving him, maybe go back to your family or to a friend, and tell him you will see him when he has seen a counsellor and sobred up --- you'll talk when he's been sober and dry for two weeks.
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