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04 Mar 2003

Emotionally drained after to many sad events
Dear doctor,
I am emotionally drained and haven't felt this tired of emotional issues in a very long time.

I had an ectopic pregnancy 2 months ago, after 3 years of trying for a baby. My husband and I was absolutely devestated by this. We do not receive any emotional support from our families or friends, as they do not fully understand the real impack of what we have been through and how it changed our lives. We were also told that we will not be able to conceive naturally and the only way to have a baby is through in vitro. (After consulting 3 doctors the verdict was the same.)

Besides the above episode, which only added pain to injury, my husband lost his father 2 months prior to this insident - due to a very tragic turn of events. Furthermore, he also had major back surgery, 2 months prior to his father's death, in which he almost lost his life due to a major complication. He took anti-depressants for a month and he really seems to be more positive. Neither of us are comfortable in using medication for emotional stress, but I just told him to take it because I could not be strong for him anymore. There is also a lot of tension in the family - due to the unexpected, sudden death of his dad - so our recourses are limited.

We stay very far away in a very small town and must prepare ourselves emotionaly for the in vitro process. But, now it just seems to far away for me and I am batteling to stay focus and optemistic about anything. I thought I was handeling everything well, and I still am, but inside I feel confused, upset, cheated and sad. I want to speak to people who went through the same thing, not all my friends who tries to help between feeding and playing with their own babies. We really want a baby ASAP!!

Do you know of any support group or preperation program over the internet we can follow to prepare us for what lies ahead?

Thank you.
Answer 441 views

01 Jan 0001

Dear Liz,
Off-hand I don't know of such a support group on the Net, but ten I haven't had the time to do a full search for them --- try yourself, using several major search engines, like Google ( ), Lycos, and ohers. See what there may be --- because this sort of situation is one where the net can be brilliant at brining together people sharing special situations, but scattered geographically. Do give us a fresh message if you find some good resources on the web, so others can use them too.
It sounds as if counselling, to provide support, would be an excellent idea, too, and may be available near to you.
You're quite right that a series of crises can really drain one's energies and coping skills, till one feels the need for a crisis-free period to recuperate. Don't let you or your husband be too hesitant to uses medication where it could help, in the opinion of an expert ---there's a difference between using medication like some people use alcohol, to blot out reality and avoid dealing with the stresses of life, and using it to corect the chemical changes the stress has produced within our bodies, so that we can be better able to cope with the stresses we face.
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