Ask an expert
Question

02 Oct 2007

Emotions. Choice or not?
Hi all

I have been analysing myself (surprise, surprise) in particular my control or lack thereof, over my emotions. I was just wondering how others feel about what degree of control we truly have over our emotions? Many bodies of work, everything from the Bible to self-help manuals, constantly sing the praises of he or she who can control their emotions. I am for it myself - if it can be done!

I get very tired of being seized by depression, waylaid by fear, asphyxiated by jealousy, cornered by rage, speared by sadness, tarred-and feathered by stress. I then get angry at myself for submitting to these unpleasant feelings, when I am supposed to decide how I will react to something. I think it is you, CS, who once mentioned something called Thought Training? What is the thinking behind this practice?

I am sure that at the age of 33, I shd have better control over my emotions than I currently do. I would like to exploit whatever control I do have over my emotions. It has been said countless times you cannot control certain things that happen to you; you can however control your response to them.

It is also said there is no real reason for people to fret or worry. Fret and worry is caused by one of two possible scenarios, the first being a situation in your life you can do nothing about. Hence why worry, given you can do nothing about it? Rather accept and deal with it instead of lying awake, staring dry-mouthed at the ceiling. The second scenario is that you have a situation before you you CAN do something about. Hence why worry. Something can be done about the situation!

It is further said that approx 90% of the things we stress and worry about, never come to pass. I suppose if at all, people should stress and worry about exactly three things - 1) dying 2) paying taxes 3) being black/white/coloured/Indian/Asian. Outside of those factors; nothing in life is cast in stone and nothing which has befallen billions of other people will necessarily befall you.

I hear however, of something called The Secret. I have not watched the dvd but it supposedly speaks of a universal law of attraction, which then rubbishes my theory about certain things will not necessarily come into your life.

Back to my initial point which is, to what degree do the rest of you on this forum feel you are in control of your emotions? And is it an unfair demand on oneself, to expect to be able to control one's emotions?

I ask too many questions (do you think I do?)
Answer 392 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Do you ask too many questions ? Well, that's another question.
The Secret is rubbish, heavily marketed and hyped, and unoriginal,. And if it was half as good as it claims to be, there'd be very few problems in the world.
One doesn't control on'e emotions, but one can learn to control what we choose to do about our emotions --- it's he behaviour that is controllable.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.