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02 Nov 2011

Ex manipulating me
Hi all,

Please share with me your honest insights.

We broke up 2yrs ago. I''m 29 and she,27. We have a 7yr old daughter who form birth was staying with my mother until 2yrs ago when the mother took her to start school in Joburg. She has just sent me an SMS saying that she has approached the court to " compel me to pay maintenance" . Here is the background: We earn more less the same amount R40k/m. I have been paying for the ffg:
School fees
Aftercare
Extramural activities (Balet classes)

There is no child minder, hence the aftercare. The mother has been demanding that I also send money for food and clothing. My argument is that why must I pay for everything when she is also employed. Frmo what I know, the child is not the responsibilty of the father only especially is the mother is also working. She doesn''t see it this way. My question to yopu CS and friends, Am I not payning my share?

I also do spend time with my daugter on some weekends
Answer 265 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Lets see what other readers have to say. As I understand it, if you are the biological father, you are probably due to pay maintenance for the child ; a court ought to take into account the expenses, your earnings and hers, and to look at what you are alrady paying. As she is also employed, she must also be expected to contribute to the costs of the child's needs. You may benefit from having a fair amount decided by the court, to make it more difficult for her and her mother to keep making additional demands.
Similarly, ask the court to grant you a specific amount of contact with the child, so they can't withhold this from you
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