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30 Jan 2006

film's magic
Hi there,

I'm 16 and I feel my life is going nowhere.
I have a strange feeling when I see these films like Harry Potter and other fantasy films, I'd really like to live in that fantasy world where everything is magic. It's like if my life is so empty, I mean, I don't have such good experiences, I’m not a hero or anyone fascinating, like film characters are. Also, everything in films seems to be perfect, poor girls end up being princess, lovers are always together in the end and what is more, they find someone who loves them. I usually cry at the end of every film I see, but it’s not because it’s sad or happy, it’s because I realize that my life has no substance at all.
I have no idea about what I want to be in the future, I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life. I’m considering being an actress, well I’m not shy (well, maybe a bit compared to other girls, that are always pretending to catch the attention) but I’m so discreet, I just don’t know if I could be a good one, probably not, but I think it’s something I have to try. I haven’t talked about this with my parents because they would just laugh and say: what, actress? You know, I’m the kind of person who nobody would expect to be an actress. But the point is that actors have full lifes, they are admired and loved and, (this is the most important thing for me), they live a different life in every film, they are different persons each time and, when they die, they couldn’t say that they didn’t do anything in life. It could be a way for me to experience beautiful things that I don’t experience in real life.
I see in televison these personalities and I feel like rage, they are floating in sugar clouds (well, I know they also have their problems and that they are not perfect persons, but) and I’m here without doing anything, going nowhere, being nothing. I want to live these great things that happen to characters in films, I want to be fascinating for someone, I want to be considered someone special, and see myself in films and say: “hey, that’s me” and and be proud of myself, and see my face and think: look, I’m quite pretty.

Please, I need to talk about this with someone.

Answer 400 views

01 Jan 0001

I suspect that a major reason such films ( and books ) appeal to so many people, is that these reveal a complex, interesting, exciting world, compared to our duller existence, and with adventures dealing with problems we don't have, ourselves. By comparison, EVERYBODY's life is more empty --- don't think this means that there's anything especially empty in your own life. But there's fun in making your real life more interesting and challenging. Your life has LOTS of actualy subatance, and could have a great deal more. Education is useful because it helps to open wider and more interesting worlds to you. But remember the films and books are, in a very important sense, a trick --- they have happy endings, not because that would actually have happened to those characters, but because the guys making the films know you will enjoy that. And if all those great things happened to real people i real life, there'd be no point in making films about them --- people would be too busy living it out, to bother going to the cinema.
I think where this may be giving you a false impression of the world, is in the impression you seem to have gained that actors have rich and rewarding and happy lives, and are much admired, and others dont. Most people who try to become successful actors / actresses fail ; most who succeed lead fairly unhappy personal lives. and many other people in society --- doctors and teachers and nurses and shop assistants, and bricklayers, lead happy lives, and are admired by the people who know them.
By all means talk about these feelings and concerns here, and also consider asking your parents to arange for you to see a counsellor, to work on this in more detail and with more useful results, too.

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