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26 Apr 2004

Foolish
I moved in with and old friend that's wife had died, he had been living with another woman after the death of his wife, this woman used to beat him up and leave him with deep scrathes all over his face and body. We started having living together as a couple.Behind my back he was still seeing the other woman, disapperaing from home for weeks, sending me an sms not to contact him as it would be trouble for him.I stuck all this and just kept quite.He would come back to me after she's hit him.Although he was a heavy drinker this woman controlled him. he was too scared to be later than six at her home.November he came back to me permanantly.Asked me to marry him, we got engaged in Feb, to be married in March.
During the time his been with me he started seeing this woamn again on the sly.One weekend he didn't come home, when he finally did pitch he confessed to being with her, and ofcourse she had beaten him up again. He said she knew how to manipulate.Because of his drinking problem he was too weak to refuse her when she called, altough he had told her about me she still caled him. He made me answer the phone when she called and told her to leave him alone.He doesn't bring the subject of marraige up anymore. I don't know if I can trust him after him doing this to me.He used to buy this woman everything, with me I get to use his Truwoths card and pay the bill, also he now visits the pubs until late, I sit at home alone wondering if his with her.he leaves me alone at home while his out with his friends, although they sit in the pubs with their girlfriends I get left at home.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

pat, your story reminds us that men get abused, about as often as women do, and can be just as unwise in returning to their abusers. I cannot imagine what you see in him, or why you would even briefly imagine marrying a man such as you describe. He's a drunk, and unable to realylbreak up a highly abusive relationship with a horrible woman, who would become part of your life if you tied yourself to him. he wastes money, deserts you to sit around getting drunk with his palls, and can't be trusted. Surely you can do better than that ?
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