Ask an expert
Question

12 Jan 2006

forgive
How do you forgive a guy who one day sat you down and told you he has been cheating on you for as long as he can remember and now wants a new start because he confessed it all?

He sat me down and told me he wants to change but feels he has to tell me the truth about everything first. He said he has been having phone sex with a girl from cape town, a phone relationship with a girl from pietermaritzberg, a relationship with a girl in his previous work... These are all he told me about, Lord knows who else. I feel i have lived a lie for the past two years with this guy.

Now he claims he told me the truth so as for us to have a fresh start hence I "have" to forgive him even though he knows how difficult being with him will be for me...I have since kicked him out and he has since smsed, called and apologised for everything and beg me back.

Ladies and gentleman, I don't see myself getting past this, this is too big for me and too sick for him to assume I have to forgive and let go because he has confessed.

When I asked him why he did, he said having all that attention from the ladies was good for him, its is now he realises he has to commit to one women(guess who? me).

Please help me...



Answer 446 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Why on earth should you consider forgiving such a rat ? It's one of the noxious side-effects of the nonsense that gets preached about Forgiveness as a duty of people who have been damaged by others, and the entire culture of protectign the perp and not the victim, that horrible worms like him feel they need only admit their cruel acts, to receive a requied forgiveness, and be free to continue doing it.
Anyhow, with all those phone sex relationships, Telkom must love him.
SDee a counsellor, but only on condition that they talk no rubbish about any duty to forgive, and tell this louse that you'll forgive him some weeks after Hell freezes over. Tell him you're not ready to be the lucky one woman to whom he think he will devote himself, but at least he has a good long list of phone numbers to console him
Forgive only in the sense of setting yourself free and xpecting nothing more from him, ever
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Yes
33% - 9362 votes
No
67% - 19326 votes
Vote