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24 Oct 2006

getting over the past
hi cybershrink

i was in this relationship for just over 2 years. this man was psycho...he had a drug problem and was seriously paranoid and jealous... nothing i ever did was goog enough, and according to him i slept with every man that i so much as looked at. I had to give up my male friends and it got so bad that when we use to go out (even in the car) i would spend the entire time looking down so i wouldnt be accused of looking at men. (for the record - i NEVER cheated on him, and as far as i am concerned i never gave him reason to think that i was). he constantly called me a slut and other horrible names. he told me how i was suppose to dress and nothing was ever goog enough.
i tried several times to leave the relationship but he wouldnt let me. he use to jump over my wall in the middle of the night and scream and bang on the window until i let him in...there was always the promise of it never happening again. i eventually got out of the relationship almost 2 years ago (and we have a 2yr old child together) i eventualyy was strong enough to cut him out of my life for the sake of my child.
But now my problem is i am finding it hard to move on with my life. i still subconciously look at the ground and avoid looking at people. ( i realised that i was doing it when a friend pointed it out) i desperatly want to meet someone new and move on with my life but i am also so scared.
I know i proberbly shoudl go for therapy but i cannot afford a therapist right now (being a single mom).
how can i get back the carefree loving person i was before i met "the monster"???
thanks
Answer 414 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Gee, he hardly sounds like the sort of guy one would miss, rather than throwing a party to celebrate his departure. Congratulations on having found the strength to eventuall get rid of him. Sounds like what you are left with are habits, hangovers from what he forced on your life in the years you were together. Counselling would be the best bet. Maybe POWA can recommend someone affordable. Similarly, as kat says, check with FAMSA and your nearest teaching Hospital dept of psychology and psychiatry
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