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29 Apr 2004

Grief
Dear Cybershrink
Where does grief ends and depression begins? Does grief include feelings of nothing to live for? I don’t think it is worth the effort to talk to my shrink about this anymore. Nothing is going to change. He can’t help me.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

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You absolutely and beyond doubt CAN be helped, and everything that feels so mad at this time CAN change, if you let it. Sorry to hear that you find it an effort to discuss these things with your shrink, but it is surely worth any amount of effort to do so, and to help him to help you. If for some reason you can't communicate efefctively with your shrink, explain this politely to him and get a fresh shrink. You deserve the best
Obviously, there is a great deal of overlap between grief and depression ( we've written whole books about it ), and there are complex forms of grief which take longer to resolve, and feel even worse. But it can all be helped and one can still grow through such experiences, however horrible they have been. Grief includes a complex range of feelings, which can indeed include feelings of having nothing to live for ( especially when one is concentrated on who and what one has lost, and not yet open to what more one can still find, love and enjoy in this life ) ; it can include feelings of guilt at having survived when someone you loved did not, and much more besides. But nothing that can't be helped, and which does not eventually improve, often in unexpeted ways and at unexpected times.
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