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Question
14 Jan 2006
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guilt
sometimes u feel so guilty over the things u did wrong. to the people u love most. years later u wonder what the hell even possessed u to hurt them that way.
how do u get over guilt.. ive asked for forgiveness and i got that. now, and not out of guilt, i do things for them to feel better - get them things they need, relieve them of some duties etc.. i feel like nothing i can do will ever be enough. its just a feeling - which can be changed. but why do i feel so guilty? is there a way of stopping guilt, and other thoughts that make u feel guilty.. please help with advice on how to let go of guilt! thnx
how do u get over guilt.. ive asked for forgiveness and i got that. now, and not out of guilt, i do things for them to feel better - get them things they need, relieve them of some duties etc.. i feel like nothing i can do will ever be enough. its just a feeling - which can be changed. but why do i feel so guilty? is there a way of stopping guilt, and other thoughts that make u feel guilty.. please help with advice on how to let go of guilt! thnx
CyberShrink
Hi mems,
your later comment in your second paragraph suggests the answer --- yes, one must feel sorry and acknowledge to yourself and if available to the person who suffered, that you did wrong, and apologise --- but thereafter pure guilt is a useless emotion. Better to then see what you can do (a) to ensure you never do (whatever it was ) again, to anyone, and (b) to the person themselves, to make amends, and to enable them to feel better. If you can plan this in discussion with them, so much the better.
CBT counselling can help reduce and remove unnecessary or excsessive guilt, which could leave you with more time and energy to spend on (a) and )b) ! As shooter says, you need also to be able to forgive yourself.
your later comment in your second paragraph suggests the answer --- yes, one must feel sorry and acknowledge to yourself and if available to the person who suffered, that you did wrong, and apologise --- but thereafter pure guilt is a useless emotion. Better to then see what you can do (a) to ensure you never do (whatever it was ) again, to anyone, and (b) to the person themselves, to make amends, and to enable them to feel better. If you can plan this in discussion with them, so much the better.
CBT counselling can help reduce and remove unnecessary or excsessive guilt, which could leave you with more time and energy to spend on (a) and )b) ! As shooter says, you need also to be able to forgive yourself.
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